To Catch A Rabbi: David Kaye's paedophilic fall from grace

The Respected Rabbi

August 2005, and as Rabbi David Kaye prepared to leave his house, his life was about to be exposed. Kaye was seen as a pillar of the Washington Jewish community, having served for 15 years as a Rabbi ordained by the Reconstructionist movement & as a Confirmation Instructor in one of the area's most respected synagogues, Congregation Har Shalom in Potomac, Maryland.

He was also Vice President of PANIM (The Institute for Jewish Leadership and Values), a prominent Jewish organisation bringing thousands of vulnerable Jewish children to Washington each year for "educational" programmes. He oversaw faculty for the organisation's flagship programme 'Panim el Panim' & was a member of the Conservative movement's Rabbinical Assembly. He was trusted, respected: he was leading a double life.

On 17 August 2005, Rabbi Kaye travelled from Montgomery County Washington DC to Herndon, Virginia, with the intent to rape a child. When he arrived, he was met by Dateline reporter Chris Hansen and his camera crew.

NBC's Dateline, working with an online group called 'Perverted Justice', was preparing another series of "To Catch a Predator" & set up a house equipped with hidden cameras. Perverted Justice volunteers posed as children in internet chat rooms, waiting for paedophiles to engage them in conversations. As Rabbi Kaye entered one of those chat rooms, he began communicating with someone he believed was a 13 year-old boy & over the course of 10 days, Rabbi Kaye engaged in sexually explicit conversations, sent naked pictures of himself & discussed meeting the child for sex.

The footage would air on US TV in November 2005 & captured the moment Hansen asks Kaye what he's doing there: "Not something good" Rabbi Kaye replied, "This isn't good". Hansen asks what he does for a living: "a rabbi," Kaye replies.

Hansen pressed him, "what is a man of God doing in this house trying to meet a 13 year-old boy", at which point Rabbi Kaye gets agitated, "ok, look, you know I'm in trouble and I know I'm in trouble." The judge who convicted Kaye cited those very words as evidence of his guilt, with the court finding Rabbi Kaye's "demeanor, body language and facial reaction...of complete and utter shock" when confronted proved he knew exactly what he had been doing.

Rabbi Kaye, indicted in May 2006 on federal charges of coercion & enticement, as well as travel with intent to engage in illicit sexual conduct with a child, waived his right to a jury trial to reduce exposure, with US District Court Judge James Cacheris deciding the case.

Kaye took the stand in his own defense, claiming he was meeting an "adult role-playing as a 13 year-old", testifying he had "struggled with sexual identity" since a young adult & for his "entire married life" of 30 years. He described his urges as an addiction, saying he felt "a tremendous amount of shame". The judge, after reviewing all the evidence, rightly didn't believe him.

Cacheris said Rabbi Kaye's communication wasn't "sexual innuendo" but "blatant, aggressive sexual advances", with the court determining the naked photos (including sexual acts the Rabbi was undertaking with other men) & sexually written messages was Kaye's "direct attempts to persuade, induce & entice the child to engage in sexual activity". The judge ruled Kaye lied under oath, rejected any sentencing reduction for acceptance of responsibility & in September 2006, Kaye was found guilty on both counts.

On 1 December 2006, Judge Cacheris sentenced Kaye to 78 months in federal prison, 10 years of supervised release & requiring him to register as a sex offender for life. He was prohibited from accepting any job involving children & barred from being around anyone under 18 without an adult present.

Before sentencing, Kaye addressed the court, acknowledged his family members seated in the courtroom, including his father in a wheelchair. He sobbed as he spoke, saying The Dateline incident was, "my cry out for help" & a desperate act to fight his "personal demons". His attorney, Peter Greenspun, criticised the sting operation, arguing, "the public interest is not served" when media, private groups & law enforcement blur together. Hard to imagine a more obvious case of public interest being served by removing a sexual predator from the company of vulnerable children.

The damage extended far beyond Rabbi Kaye himself. At PANIM, founder Rabbi Sid Schwarz expressed shock, "It's a human tragedy," he said, acknowledging Rabbi Kaye had "contributed to the community in many ways" noting sometimes people "have a piece of their personal lives that sabotages" their work. At Congregation Har Shalom, Rabbi David Rose told reporters, "I was incredibly disturbed and troubled and shocked by what I saw." He said the membership was responding with "lots of questions and concerns" and acknowledging, "I think everybody will be a little less trusting and a little more wary of people in positions of authority. It's going to take some time for all of us in the rabbinate to earn people's trust".

Rabbi Kaye, released in January 2012, wanted to return to synagogue life. He began attending Shabbat services at Adat Shalom Reconstructionist Congregation in Bethesda, Maryland, telling a reporter, “I’ve done teshuvah and I feel God has forgiven me”.

The congregation’s board deliberated, weighing the Jewish value of teshuvah (repentance) against the safety of children & finally in September 2012, nine months after attending their congregation, informed Kaye he wouldn’t be welcome. The decision wasn’t even unanimous, as Rabbi Fred Scherlinder Dobb acknowledged the “process was painful” but said it was guided by “balancing safety with the respect for individuals”.

In 2013, the now former Rabbi, was arrested again for failing to register as a sex offender, using the internet without prior approval & viewing pornographic images. In 2018, he was sentenced to six months in prison for repeatedly violating his probation, included soliciting sex, buying unauthorised devices to access the internet, purchasing pornography & opening lines of credit without disclosing them to his Probation Officer. By February 2021, he had been incarcerated again & reclassified as a Tier III sexual offender, the highest risk level.

If you or someone you know needs support, below are some generally recommended organisations to consider.

rainn.org - largest US anti-sexual violence organisation, 24/7 hotline (1-800-656-HOPE), online chat, Spanish-language services, covering all demographics & all forms of sexual violence (https://rainn.org)

snapnetwork.org - world's oldest & largest community of survivors of clergy and institutional religious abuse (all faiths, not just Catholic), with 100+ local volunteer leaders, legal resources, global reach (https://snapnetwork.org)

aftersilence.org - free, moderated online support with 30+ forums covering rape, incest, childhood abuse, marital rape & more, available in English & Spanish covering all demographics (https://www.aftersilence.org)

pandys.org - message boards, chat rooms & blogs with dedicated forums for men, women, teens, LGBTQ+ survivors & friends/family, with international crisis resource list (https://pandys.org)

malesurvivor.org - specifically for male survivors (14,000+ members, 80,000+ topics), curates a religious resources section (SNAP, POKROV, Faith Trust Institute, Catholic Whistle Blowers) (https://malesurvivor.org)

1in6.org - for men who experienced unwanted or abusive sexual experiences, free anonymous online peer support groups, 24/7 chat, free counseling referrals (https://1in6.org)

nomoredirectory.org - international directory of domestic, sexual violence helplines & specialist services in nearly every country., covering men, women & non-binary individuals (https://nomoredirectory.org)

survivorschat.com - community for survivors of rape, incest & abuse including ritual abuse (RA/SRA), DID-friendly and welcoming to alters, all demographics (https://www.survivorschat.com)

isurvive.org - non-profit online community with anonymous discussion boards, chat rooms & resources, covers all forms of abuse and all demographics (https://isurvive.org)

reclamationcollective.com - specifically for survivors of religious trauma & spiritual abuse, virtual support groups, clinician directory for religious-trauma-informed therapists & resources for deconstruction (https://www.reclamationcollective.com)